Monday, 16 May 2011

Fudging Hell

No particular relevance of fudge here, just a phrase that seemed to sum up how I feel right now.
Woke up feeling less terrible than yesterday, which is something. I spent the vast majority of yesterday in bed feeling truly awful, I didn't acheive anything and never really felt any better. So I thought that feeling better this morning would have a positive impact on my productivity, which it has, but not on a huge scale. My brain seems intent on not focusing on anything, certainly not anything important like my work. My arms are weak, my neck doesn't want to hold my head up straight, my eyes want to sleep and my brain seems to like that idea, but I've only been up about 2 hours and can't let myself totally give up on the day yet.
I don't know what to do to make me feel better, I really don't, and that's one of the most frustrating things. I feel hideous and don't know how to change it. I've got so much tension in my chest and my shoulders it's causing actual physical pain. I just want to beat myself round the head or repeatedly run into a wall. I just want everything to go away :(


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